We have a spring saying where I live. if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.
The other day while showing a family that just moved to the area the sights, we experienced rain, gropple, sleet, snow, and sunshine all in the period of three hours. I think I even heard a bit of thunder. Gropple is little balls of snow. They are white, and softer than hail.
Today is no different. I am stretched out in my honey’s spot on our Shabbat couch since he is sleeping in. From this perch in our bonus room, I have a beautiful view of green valley with mountains not too far away. One of those mountains is considered our bell weather for planting season to begin. The old timers say not to plant until all the snow is gone from that mountain. From my vantage this morning, I have seen sunshine bathe that peak, clouds cover the top, and it was just completely enveloped in a mini storm, which the nasty wind is quickly blowing north. I can see tree tops swaying rather violently in the wind this morning too. The wind scares me sometimes.
As I write these observations, my thoughts remember something a friend recently wrote on his Caring Bridge journal about the storms of life. I too see a correlation. I see storms becoming more frequent, more volatile, more destructive and unpredictable. I find myself hiding indoors more often to avoid the cold, the wind, the pelting. I see the same in my spiritual life also. Right now, I am feeling the turmoil of an inner storm. Sorrow, disappointments, unmet expectations, overwhelm. I find myself looking for someplace to hide. Sometimes I go thrift store shopping by myself. Sometimes I hermit. I definitely crave more sugar.
Recently, I forced myself out of my hermit cave to celebrate a holy day with the body of Yeshua/Christ. I had to tell myself, we are a body, every part is necessary. I need other people in my life and they need me. During the gathering I made time to sit with a friend who had been distant for several years. When I first met her, I could tell there was underlying anger in her life. Then she stopped hanging out with the body, only to re-emerge last year a changed woman. The anger was gone, and had been replaced with peace and contentment. We talked awhile, and she shared how Yahuwah/God had changed her heart. She had gotten some counseling about God and his desire for his children to walk in freedom, not bound by anger, unforgiveness and more. The counsel included very practical steps to getting to that place of freedom. I found my eyes welled up with tears, and my heart crying out for that kind of freedom. A couple days later I was having friend time with another gal, and I shared that I have been struggling, and that I just don’t feel alive right now. I know it probably has to do with some stinking thinking, but I need help identifying it. We spoke of the mutual friend’s experience, which had also touched her. We spoke of a recommended book, of the ministry that helped, things to be aware of. I don’t open up like that to people. It isn’t always safe. But, both friends proved safe, and spoke gently to my heart.
I am so thankful for safe friends. Who love me inspite of the leftover ugliness of the heart that has yet been replaced with what God wants there instead. I ordered the book, and look forward to spending some time prayerfully reading it and letting my souls be washed clean, again, and again, and again, until there is nothing ugly left, only the beauty of Yahuwah God.
If you are struggling today, if you are feeling dead inside, call out to God, and he will send his Yeshua, which means salvation, to you. Things ma tv not change in an instant, or they may. But, it will put you in the path to wholeness. May you have a beautiful day and may you feel alive!