It’s been a rough weekend. I find myself having a hard time settling down after a very full work week to just rest on Sabbath. My spirit wants to just lay on the couch and read your word, and soak in your love for me, but I find my flesh restless, wanting to “do” something.
I hear the enemy of my soul condemn me for breaking your sabbath if I do anything but read your word or meet with other believers. But doing something fun, like making greeting cards, reading a magazine, and such, they also call to me. Even those things, although they are fun, are still “doing” something.
I tell my brain at 4:30am, “I don’t have to wake up early, it’s Sabbath, I can sleep in”. But, I can’t get back to sleep. I tell my brain that it’s ok to do nothing, to sit and relax, but I am restless. I text friends who need encouragement, I look through pictures, I DO stuff. When did it become so hard to just be?
I want to get back to just being in your presence. Wake up and enjoy a special breakfast, the. Sit and read and drift off to nap. Look out the window and pray. Let go of all the pent up emotions that I am dealing with. Sleep when I am tired, take a walk and breathe in your presence in nature. Listen to the birds, or crickets.
Abba, please help me let go of the work, and just be on Sabbath.