Chaotic weeks…

Oct 20: I got rear ended. I have to order police reports, answer question after question from both insurance companies involved, make arrangements for my car to be fixed, find a personal injury attorney, go to the chiropractor, make sure my grands get to the chiropractor and more. All that on top of everything else that is going on in life. I am thankful to God that I woke up this morning.

Oct 30: I suffered a vitreous detachment in my right eye. I was walking through my lamp lit bedroom at night when I began seeing white lightning streaks in my right eye vision. If you Google specific symptoms for just about anything, you can usually come away knowing that you are getting ready to die, get your affairs in order. It seems they always have worst case scenarios at the top of the search. I also saw things like retinal detachment, which can damage sight. I made an appointment the next morning with an ophthalmologist. Multiple tests, eyes dilated, with a final diagnosis of the common, not sight threatening condition of vitreous detachment. The symptoms (white streaks and increases floaters during the day) should disappear within two weeks to six months. I am thankful to God that I can still see.

Nov 4: our son and daughter in law share the joyous news that they are expecting another child! and I took the burden of worry on myself wondering how they would afford a fourth child, where would they live? They have are currently in an apartment and their 2 year old sleeps in their bedroom due to lack of space. I am thankful to God that that is not my problem to fix, that HeE cares about them more than I do, and he will provide for them. I don’t have to.

Nov. 5: After a windstorm we have more roofing damage to take care of and found a malnourished, pretty beat up cat under our patio furniture. if he lives, we will name him/her Storm. I thank God that we still have a roof over our head, and that he will provide the money for the repairs.

My emotional cup is overflowing. So many things I want to fix, and can’t seem to. So much in my life seems out of my control. Cleansing tears erupt over and over. Again, I thank God that he is in control. I don’t understand his ways, but I want to go back to childlike faith.


Healing time…

I recently wrote about my bad ankle tendon. Since that post, we hosted two beautiful weddings on our property. Since I only knew a real active of the first bride, I was able to distance myself, and head back to our house when I could tel my ankle had had enough for the day. The story wasn’t the same for the second wedding.

Since the second bride and her beau wer friends, I wanted her day to be perfect. If I see a gap in planning, I step in to fill it. Take getting ready pictures? I’m on it, even though that meant several trips up and down a long stair case. Fix a table arrangement issue? Got it! No one assigned to prepare the coffee urns and turn them on. Done! The photographer is running late? I’ll get pics of the bride and her father exiting the building. Only the bride was there to put decor on tables? Didn’t even think twice. It was a nice time of visiting! I answered caterer and live band questions, showed everyone where they could find what they may have forgotten. Clean up crew? Doesn’t seem to be one… I think you get the picture.

I left the party before it ended, after being on my feet for 12 hours, the last six of which became progressively more painful with each passing hour. After removing my brace and grabbing the ice pack, I plopped into a chair and put my surprisingly swollen ankle up on the arm to ice it.

I thought the brace would keep my ankle from getting worse. Although that may technically be it’s purpose, my ankle was worse and I could barely walk. After a decent night sleep, I could only cry and beat myself up for not taking care of myself. The pain was worse than it had ever been, and I could not walk without holding furniture. Monday became a stay off my feet and take care of myself day. I put some doTERRA Deep Blue rub on the ankle and heated it for 15 minutes, then iced it for 15 minutes. Then I sat at the table with my foot up and wrote some of the thanksgiving cards we would be sending out to my hubby’s clients soon. Each time I did the heat/ice combo my ankle became less stiff and painful, but the swelling remained. I thought to take a homeopathic remedy called Apis Melfica. I had a friend use it for edema and it worked. That’s the sweet thing about homeopathy. You prescribe based on the symptom, not what caused it. Swelling due to injury or heart disease both can respond to it. Three heat/ice treatments during the day, and I could limp around the house a bit. I doctored my ankle with comfrey ointment and castor oil covered by a wool sock and went to bed.

Wow! My ankle is still swollen, but I could almost walk normal this morning! Thank you God for showing mercy to me! It may feel better, but I have come to the conclusion that it is the time off my feet that is helpful. So today, I am doing the minimum on my feet once again. I have to see the chiropractor, I have to take my car into the auto body shop for a repairs estimate. I am sitting in the coffee shop next door to the chiropractor waiting for my turn. It’s a walk in clinic. When I get home, I will do my second heat/ice treatment for the day and probably drop off for a snooze in that comfy stair after. Work on some more cards, fix dinner, watch a show with my honey while I do my third treatment, take my Apis, then wrap the ankle for bed. I am hoping if I can do this for a few weeks, my ankle will begin to heal. If the weather hadn’t turned wintery, I would still have yard work to deal with, so the timing is good to be home off my feet.

I hope I have learned my lesson. If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to take care of others. I really don’t want to go around this mountain again. And I want to avoid needing surgery. I am asking God to fill me with his Holy Spirit to remind me of this daily. I don’t pretend to know the workings of God. The Bible quotes God as saying “My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts than your thoughts.” But I do know deep inside that he cares. About my eternal soul first and foremost, but also about the vessel it rides through this life in. I will continue to turn away from doing stupid things, I will continue to ask for his mercy, and thank him for each breath I breathe.

Rear ended…

Yesterday was a busy day to begin with. My honey asked me to help him clean the outside of our shop so it would look nice for two weddings we are hosting this weekend. My schedule was already extraordinarily light for the day, mainly detail work in preparation, and getting to top it off with a grandkids ice cream date after school. I ended up washing all four sliding glass doors as well as four windows and all their screens.

A tent was delivered, and I took pictures of its installation for both brides. Weeds were pulled, a greenhouse spider mite infestation dealt with, wild cat was played with. A bride brought “stuff” over to put in the upper room to await the big day. I’m not a professional photographer, but I love taking “before the wedding” pictures! I offered to help take “getting ready” pictures. The wedding was being run by a wedding coordinator who was doing it for free for this family. She does that once a year as a ministry. Since she was paying for a photographer, she needed help.

I took a few pictures of the dress and two floral bouquets, signed rental delivery documents and scurried off to the school to pick up our fourteen year old granddaughter and our twelve year old grandson to take them for ice cream. A regular date time with them that I hope continues for a while longer.

About a mile away from the school, the right hand turning traffic began to slow drivers, so I began to slow, as I dropped to between 15-20 mph, I glanced in my rear view mirror just in time to see a guy barreling towards me. I had just enough time to think he’s going to hit me, when he did. Hard. he was going between 35-45. We had just passed the school when the speed limit drops from 45-35, and many people don’t slow down. So, who knows.

I pulled over a few feet to the shoulder, and thankfully, so did the other driver. I asked the kids if they were ok, both said yes. I got out to exchange insurance information. He had his in his hand, and asked if we were ok. I asked the same. I took some pictures, wondering if I should call the police for a repost. I almost let him leave after that, but thought I should call my insurance company first. Since I got an automated system, I did decide to call the police. Oddly, the other driver was fine with that, even though he would get cited. It didn’t seem like a big deal to him. He even laughed when he said his car (an old Monte Carlo, a beast) would probably be totaled. I wondered if he might be stoned. The damage to my hatch was significant also. I texted my honey and the kids parents to let them know that we were ok, but had been rear ended. The sheriff came, pictures were taken, I was interviewed, the kids were asked if they were ok. I told him we would be visiting a chiropractor, just in case. I know whiplash can be a sneaky thing, sometimes the results don’t show up for months.

We skipped ice cream, and I took them back to school to meet up with dad. He’s a teacher there and hadn’t left yet. I told him I would try to get appointments with a chiropractor for each of us. Once I arrived home I called my insurance company, but bypassed the claims department. They recommended I go get checked by a doctor. I had vaguely remember t that some companies don’t pay for medical unless you are immediately checked out. I met our son at the local urgent care and we did our due diligence.

The next morning found my shoulder area sore and I could feel my pelvis was out of place. I texted our son to ask about the kids. Our fourteen year old granddaughter was very sore in the neck and shoulders, and it was worse when she lifted her arms. She skipped volleyball practice. Our twelve year old grandson said he felt fine. We were able to find a walk in clinic, and walked in. We were placed with a non neck twisting chiropractor, as per my request, who was very thorough and used a gentle technique I was unfamiliar with. Chiropractic is my main source of medical care. After he adjusted our granddaughter and had her walk across the room and back, when she turned to come back she had the biggest smile on her face and said I feel so good!! It was my turn next. He said my pelvis was twisted, probably due to bracing for impact and pushing hard on the brake. And my shoulders, neck were pretty tight, probably the whiplash. After the adjustment I had a similar response.

I purchased a two month package of adjustments, four each month, for less than the standard price of two appointments. My insurance was easy to deal with and said send the bills as they arrive and we will reimburse you as they arrive. my insurance company is the Hartford through AARP. I’ll let them go after the other insurance company to recoup costs.

I took everyone out to lunch after the chiropractor visit in place of ice cream,

Although our grandson still seems to be unfazed, I am going to also get him in this week, just to deal with it, even though there are currently no symptoms.

It was a long Friday, when I added in filing claims and getting appointments for colossi on repair estimates and doctors for everyone to my already busy prepping for two weddings. But… I am grateful that God protected us. I am grateful that I was wearing my ankle brace (on my driving foot) at the time of impact. I am grateful the other driver didn’t run. I am grateful for my girlfriend who called to check on me when I texted her about my accident. I am grateful for so much.

What are you grateful for?


I hate it when people use acronyms when talking. And here I am doing the same.

PTTD stands for Posterior Tibialis Tendon Disfunction. Apparently when you have been flat footed all your life, like I have been, you might develop this. It basically is when the tendon that runs along the inside of your ankle and holds up your arch becomes overly stretched and damaged. Most of my pain was in the morning, after the tendon had time to contract during sleep. My first dozen steps were excruciating as the tendon was stretched out again. At first there wasn’t much pain other than that. Then the pain after a few hours on my feet began. I started limping and limiting my walking.

After seeing my father’s limp (bad knee) improve dramatically with some physical therapy, I decided to go that route also. My therapist was amazingly patient with me, encouraging and gentle. After several weeks of treatment and faithfully doing the exercises, I was feeling much better. Until…

Five hours on my feet, in a small kitchen, bailing out the mother of a bride who got married in our barn. The ankle swelled, pain increased tremendously all day, and the exercises hurt. My physical therapist recommended I see a doctor for the injury. I had never seen an MD for the issue. A podiatrist recently told me I needed new orthotics, which only he knew how to make properly. An orthopedic guy told me to get different orthotics and stretch my calf muscles. Another guy said it was just a matter of time before I would need surgery. I made an appointment to see the doctor she recommended.

Two days later, I had the most thorough exam of my foot in my lifetime. My condition was explained to me in terms I could easily understand, I was shown my X-rays and they were compared to my healthy ankle. Wow. I so appreciated that doctor. He recommended I get and AFO, or Ankle Foot Orthosis. It’s basically a plastic, removable cast that immobilizes the ankle in hopes that the tendon can heal. Thankfully, he recommended I see the same person who worked on the current orthotics I was wearing. A compassionate, encouraging person. I already had an appointment that same day for an orthotic adjustment. Half hour later, I was casted for fit, and the process began. They even asked me if I wanted a pattern or flowers or something. I sent a picture I liked and told them anything in those colored or style would make wearing it a happy experience.

The AFO turned out adorable! His co-worker told him it was the cutest one he’d made in 20 years! It was the exact picture I sent him!! I have worn it for 12 days now, and I can tell it is helping. Along with some home heat/cold therapy I started doing daily. Which I currently doing, thus the time to blog. I still have to be careful not to overdo it on my feet. I am learning to say “No, I can’t help.” That’s hard for someone who’s love language is acts of service. But, if I want to heal, I need to learn.

I am praying that it heals well, and that using it for heavy “on my feet days” will keep me from re-injuring it. I have hope again. I hope that you have hope in your heart for tomorrow.

Abiding trust…

Rainbows always remind me of Gods promise to Noah. That promise brings peace to my heart each time I hear it. However, it also reminds me that although Noah had an ark, he and his family still had to endure the flood. I wonder if he felt fear. If he worried about his food supplies lasting. How bad did the ark smell with all those animals on board? Did he get seasick? Did the animals get seasick?

Now, here I am in a storm. Probably not life threatening, but a storm in my eyes anyhow. He has prepared an ark for me to ride out the storm in. And although I am safe under the shadow of his wings, like a baby bird, I still have to ride out the storm. I may get a little seasick. I may feel fear, I may feel frustrated, but I can still trust in his protection.

I don’t always abide in that place. Sometimes when things get ugly in life, I immediately try to fix the situation in my own power. That so rarely works out or brings peace. Eventually I realize, it’s not in my hands. I can relax. Hopefully, someday, I will just walk in that peace all the time, and not stress myself out.

I don’t pretend to understand everything about God. How he works, how he has plans for us, but we have free will. How prayer changes things, even though he is in control. I just know he loves me. I want to remember what my faith was like as a child, before I was taught doctrines, and principles. When I was afraid and would cry out, and he came and rescued me in my bad dream. When I would pray for all the sick people in the world. Simple, child like faith.

I want to go back to that. and I think that’s ok.


Today is Sabbath. The local U-Pick community is putting on a huge harvest festival, every weekend until the end of October. There is a corn maze, tractor train, kids events, live music, hot pumpkin donuts and apple cider, vendors, and lots of fresh produce available to purchase.

This is the kind of event I have always wanted to do with my kids and grands. My older grands are only with my son every M-Th (school days/nights) and every fourth/fifth weekend of the month. It makes doing fun things with them on weekends very difficult. This is a good weekend to go. They are with our son and his wife, the weather is good, we have no plans today to go to a small group. I made plans to meet them there for a few hours, and our good friends are coming too, since they consider our kids/grands as theirs also. Sounds like a great day. So what is my struggle?

Today is sabbath. Our sons family and our friends observe Sunday as their day of worship. They attend church, and then Sunday is getting ready for work the next day. I always feel bad asking them to give up their Sunday to try to do these types of things. We’ve bumped heads about it in the past. But now, I feel like I have chosen a family day, outside the home, buying from people who are working to make a living over spending the day with my creator. What I will be doing I feel goes against God’s instructions for Sabbath. I want my father to be pleased with my behavior, not grieved. I want to walk in the blessings of obedience, not the curses of walking in my own ways. I know there is mercy and grace, but I also know about reaping what I sow. In the past, there has been conversation about no one being willing to give up their day off, their sabbath. So, do I resign myself to not getting to do fun family things because no one will give in? Or do I resign myself to doing something uncomfortable to have a family day?

I guess it all comes down to where my priorities are. Family or Yah? It seems like such an easy decision, and yet, it isn’t. It seems I haven’t made God the priority I thought I had. May he show mercy to me as I struggle with my weakness.

Lakeside sunrise…

After a very s tress full couple of weeks at home, my honey and I are finally taking a vacation to visit family. We all rented a lakeside cabin close to another family member. I was one of the first two awake in the house, and I couldn’t resist going out back to spend a moment in nature with my creator. And take some pictures of the beauty I saw.

It was fairly silent at first, but soon nature began to wake also. A squirrel began jumping from branch to branch and tree to tree. Two little Jack rabbits came out from the bulrushes to check me out and then continue on their way across the yard. an unknown species of bird perched on a post in the water and began chittering. I watched a flock of geese disturb the glassy water to take off and then listened to their honking as they glided effortlessly just above the water. There was a smoky mist gliding over the water to my left, and the homes across the lake to the right were crisply reflected in the water. I even glanced at the perfect moment to see a fish jump out of the water, and then enjoyed watching the circular ripples expand out until they were no more.

It wasn’t until I found myself waving away mosquitos that I thought I should go back in the house to start the coffee pot and get a bite to eat. I thanked my heavenly father for the incredible beauty and for loving us enough to make such a beautiful world to live in, and then headed indoors.

Mornings like this fill my soul with peace and a deep abiding contentment, that can last for days. I hope you have something like that, something to brings that deep abiding contentment to your soul. If not, I encourage you to search for that thing, or create something that does. hope you have an awesome day.

Outside time…

Today is Sabbath. I have no schedules to keep. No grandchildren to pick up at certain times. No chores to get done. No place to be, no one to see. It is a day of leisure, and I savor every moment.

Since the morning was cool, I decided to take the cats out for some fun. I let them out, then brought out my bowl of oatmeal with blueberries I picked yesterday with a grandson, and a few craisins. As they did their customary rolling around on the cement to begin the time, I positioned a chair in the sun and put two navy blue cushions on it. They went sniffing around the patio and patio furniture, frequently turning to check if I was still in my chair.

I decided to put my phone and daily paper planner down and really enjoy the moment. It wasn’t long before the big boy Waldo caught the scent of something and headed out uncharacteristically slow to the middle of the yard. It was interesting to see him in hunting mode, since he is usually the big, oafish playboy. His smaller brother galloped out to join him. I enjoyed watching them both stick their faces into the old vole holes in the lawn, and doing the super slow hunting movements. It was particularly beautiful to watch as a cloud would begin to cover the sun, and I could watch a wave of darkness move across the yard, followed by a wave of sunshine as the sun reappeared from behind the cloud. It made the scene somewhat… ethereal? It was like watching a beautiful slow dance.

That lasted for about ten minutes. Waldo got some ants in his pants, turned towards the house and came galloping back at full speed. I could hear his paws as they thudded into the lawn and could almost feel the ground shake. He is a big boy at 20 pounds. Twice the weight of most of the casts I have ever owned. Soon his brother did the same, but at a more relaxed pace.

As they were hunting, I wondered if there was anything I could learn from them that would apply to my spiritual life. I don’t want to be a hunter. Hunting is for preservation, or sport. Nope, nothing there. After they returned to the porch, they began to wander out of sight around the corner of the house. The rule is stay in sight, or you go in the house. They get one reminder. I will go pick them up, tell them they need to stay close, and put them down in front of my chair. The second time, if there is one, I pick them up and tell them, if you don’t stay close, you go inside, and I put them inside. Waldo did it first, then Statler. As I watched them graze on the grass I thought to myself, and prayed at the same time, that God would come after me to bring me into his protective sight should I ever wander out of his sight, and that he would be willing to shut me up in his house if I keep at it. I know his word talks about giving the disobedient over to follow their own lusts I don’t want him to wash his hands of me. Ever. I want to make my heavenly Father happy. I want to learn obedience, even if that means receiving some discipline.

By this time, the clouds weren’t little anymore, but it was mostly cloudy. With the sun hiding, the breeze was getting too cool for my jammies. I called the cats to come in, to no avail. I went after Waldo first. He did his little run away a few feet from me and flop into the lawn. His way of saying “aw mom, do I have to?” I carried him in without a struggle. His brother did the same.

I don’t ever want to be so disobedient that I can’t learn. I don’t ever want to be so disobedient that God washes his hands of me. I want his blessings. I want to know the joy of him being happy with the life I have led. I pray that you can find joy in knowing YHWH/the LORD, the creator of all things, and see his blessing upon your life when you chose to live according to his instructions for life. Oh taste and see that the LORD is good!

My Dear Child…

Years ago, I came across a poem that I wanted to keep, as it expressed so many things about aging that have helped me as I deal with my father. I don’t know where I saw it, or how long I have had it. I only know that it has been in a file on my desk for years. This morning as I went through my desk stack, I found it again and thought that I should share it. So, here it is.

The original text was in Spanish by Guillermo Peña. It was translated to English by Sergio Cadena.

My dear child. The day you see I am getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say, “You said the same thing a minute ago.” Just listen, please. Try to remember the times you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and please don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a child.

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things, like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I am going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing is for me to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand, the same way I offered you mine when you were first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter, my handsome son, my beloved grandchildren.

I hope this touches your heart, as much as it did mine.

Mice, Mice, Baby…

Statler is a mouse hunting machine! With summer weather, we eat dinner on our back porch regularly, and have started letting the cats out with us. The first night out, our black cat, Statler, slowly made his way out to the vole holes in the lawn, and crouched. There he patiently waited for about 10 minutes. In a flash he pounced and threw something into the air. He had caught a mouse that was now using the defunct tunnels! He quickly brought it back to the porch where we were, and played with it until it stopped moving. We then made sure it was dead and disposed of it.

It was amazing to watch his hunting instincts kick in so quickly! We weren’t sure since the boys have been inside cats for almost two years. what an amazing miracle to watch. And it was repeated the next night also!

A few days later, Waldo decided to prance out to his brother and try to “help”. He was not stealthy, or slow, but awkward and quick. We think he would be more of a bird cat. He lives playing with a feather toy on a long stick. He also seemed to want to patrol the perimeter of the yard. It was interesting to watch.

Watching animals of all kinds make me praise our Creator, God. It is amazing, and humbling. But, it makes me feel… significant. Because I am also one of His miraculous creations. I hope you have one of those moments in the near future. A moment of feeling significant.