Why tears?

This morning’s local paper was filled with emotion for me. A long awaited obituary finally showed up and an article featuring my good friend and her store were in it.

About a month ago, we heard that the son of an old friend of ours died of a serious lung infection. We had been waiting for the obituary to show up with details of any celebration of life. It was nice to read what was written about the young man who died before turning thirty. Our kids went to school together. Our son was the same age as their older son and our daughter was the same age as their second daughter and they were friends. The son who died was a couple years younger.

After writing down the date, time and location of the celebration, I continued reading, only to find my dear friend, her daughter and their two stores featured in an article! What a pleasant surprise. Oddly though, as I read through it, so many tears fell. I still am not sure why. I am so proud of my friend and her daughter (my goddaughter) for what they have built together. I wished that I could have the same compassion she shows towards her customers. Sometimes I think I am too business like and a bit harsh. My ex- told me I was and that label has been a hard one to shake, in spite of being told by others how they see me. I wondered what I had to show for my life. What legacy am I leaving behind? I don’t have a store where I make people feel special, or shows that I have done something with my days.

After allowing myself to cry a bit. I reminded myself that sometimes as women, we just need a good cry. Nothing is wrong, it is just like taking a shower, only tears clean out our emotions instead of skin. I have plenty to show for my life. Children who are serving God and are responsible, loving human beings and parents. Grandchildren who are respectful and kind. Although it was God who gave the wisdom to raise children, I had to act upon it, I had to pray for them, and still do. I also have many friends whom we consider family and they consider us family. That is enough for me. My children and grandchildren are the fruit of my time, my prayers, my life. And, I pray that the way I live my life brings joy, and a smile to my Creator. Ultimately, that will be the crowing achievement for me.

Today, look beyond what the world labels as success. And may you be content with what you see. And if you aren’t, each moment that follows this moment, is a new chance to start something that will bring contentment, or change, or whatever you are seeking for.


Twenty years…

Tuesday will be our twentieth wedding anniversary. My honey blessed me with a long weekend trip to Banff, Canada, to celebrate. We honeymooned there, many years ago, and have returned a few times since.

It was hard leaving. I was finishing up misc. building things up until we were ready to leave. I hate to admit it, but I also brought two little things with me to do while we were gone. To be honest, I knew the weather was going to be rainy, and we would probably have one full day in the hotel room, so I don’t feel too bad for bringing work with me.

Spanky cat wasn’t real happy with us. She was fine the day before we left, because I was the only one who has pulled out a suitcase. But when dad pulled one out too, she gave it to us. First, she jumped into his suitcase, pleading her case to come with us. When that didn’t work, she followed my honey around as he went around the house gathering his stuff to pack. She finally perched on a sweater I was going to wear, figuring I couldn’t leave if she was on it. She was wrong. She retreated to her bed donut, and watched us pack with her ears laid back. When we were ready to go, I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing my chin on her head. I whispered a little prayer of protection for her, then counted off the days until we would return to her. We have always counted off days until we return to our pets. I think it makes us feel better that they know how long we will be gone.

My honey is great at finding unique hotels to stay in. We stayed at The Fox. A beautiful lodge style hotel. We had a loft room, on the fourth floor. The views were spectacular! We were close to downtown, but not too close. We enjoyed some time in the semi outdoor hot pools, created to mimic some local cave hot springs. That always helps the achy joints that weren’t an issue twenty years ago. We made decisions about garage door styles, heating options for the house, design decisions for the house and more. The conversation flowed smoothly, and yet, we were also content to sit on the couch quietly reading, or watching a basketball game.

It was a nice weekend in spite of the rain. A much needed respite form the hustle and bustle we left behind, and would have to return to.

I hope you can find a time of respite from your hustle and bustle, even if it is only a few hours.

A day off…

What a nice day today. I got a good four hour stretch of sleep last night, and finally awoke to a beautiful, sunny morning. After making the cat happy with a neck rub, I went downstairs to enjoy the second sabbath of the weekend. Yesterday was the weekly sabbath, and also Passover, so, instead of hanging around the house, we gathered with others. We left around 10:45, and didn’t get home until 4:30. My honey was sure we’d be home by 3:00, but I know what an optimist he is. One of the many things I love about him. Anyway, today is the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, which means another day of no working!!! WooHoo!

I love these days! Breakfast consisted of a slice of cold sweet potato pie with oatmeal pecan crust. My father and I went for a walk, then my honey and I spent some time out on the back patio with the cats chatting about the day’s plans. Not chatting with the cats, with each other. Although MY plans for us included a loooong walk, that was scaled back to once around the park for the sake of his bad knee. After our traditional Sunday brunch of hash browns, eggs and a piece of fruit, we drove out to our five acre parcel of land to spray paint out the shape of the shop we will be building soon. The paint went over rocks, dirt and old cow patties left from the cows that grazed our property last spring. Funny how when you look at the measurements and square footage on paper it seems so large, but when it was painted on the ground, it actually seemed small. Maybe because it was in the context of the size of the lot itself.

Only one of the apple trees we planted last year will need to be moved, and I was able to mark spaces for three more fruit trees. If I had thought about it, I would have marked the spaces for the blueberry bushes we will bring from our current home. If I had though, I would have run out of paint before being able to mark out the last shop details. So, all for the best. We drove around two neighborhoods of larger lots to check out different fencing, only to find that they both had white three rail fencing everywhere. You gotta love neighborhoods with covenants, codes and restrictions. Our neighborhood of seven homes doesn’t have any. Yea!

The day was filled with loud farts being blamed on the cat (my honey, not me), flirting with each other and just having fun. It’s been a long time since we have had a day like this. Once spring hits, my honey will frequently have to work on Sundays. And since I got some sleep, I wasn’t exhausted all day. Dinner is leftover stir fry, dessert will probably consist of vanilla yogurt with some sort of fruit added to it.

Tomorrow it is back to the craziness of building. I have a septic inspection to change into a permit, a location permit to apply for so we can build the structure. State permits to figure out how to apply for for the plumbing, HVAC (heating and cooling) and electrical. I need to get on sub contractor schedules for the cement slab pour, insulation, heating and drywall. Floor plans for the house need to be altered so we can get on a framers schedule for the fall. If I don’t do that now, we may not get on a schedule until summer next year. So much to do, so little time to do it in. Oh, and I need to get my garden planted here at home, veggies and flowers, and maintain my house, and the rental we sold until it closes mid May. Busy, busy.

All said and done, at the end of this day, I am happy, content and hopeful for the future. I hope you also had a great day.