Healing time…

I recently wrote about my bad ankle tendon. Since that post, we hosted two beautiful weddings on our property. Since I only knew a real active of the first bride, I was able to distance myself, and head back to our house when I could tel my ankle had had enough for the day. The story wasn’t the same for the second wedding.

Since the second bride and her beau wer friends, I wanted her day to be perfect. If I see a gap in planning, I step in to fill it. Take getting ready pictures? I’m on it, even though that meant several trips up and down a long stair case. Fix a table arrangement issue? Got it! No one assigned to prepare the coffee urns and turn them on. Done! The photographer is running late? I’ll get pics of the bride and her father exiting the building. Only the bride was there to put decor on tables? Didn’t even think twice. It was a nice time of visiting! I answered caterer and live band questions, showed everyone where they could find what they may have forgotten. Clean up crew? Doesn’t seem to be one… I think you get the picture.

I left the party before it ended, after being on my feet for 12 hours, the last six of which became progressively more painful with each passing hour. After removing my brace and grabbing the ice pack, I plopped into a chair and put my surprisingly swollen ankle up on the arm to ice it.

I thought the brace would keep my ankle from getting worse. Although that may technically be it’s purpose, my ankle was worse and I could barely walk. After a decent night sleep, I could only cry and beat myself up for not taking care of myself. The pain was worse than it had ever been, and I could not walk without holding furniture. Monday became a stay off my feet and take care of myself day. I put some doTERRA Deep Blue rub on the ankle and heated it for 15 minutes, then iced it for 15 minutes. Then I sat at the table with my foot up and wrote some of the thanksgiving cards we would be sending out to my hubby’s clients soon. Each time I did the heat/ice combo my ankle became less stiff and painful, but the swelling remained. I thought to take a homeopathic remedy called Apis Melfica. I had a friend use it for edema and it worked. That’s the sweet thing about homeopathy. You prescribe based on the symptom, not what caused it. Swelling due to injury or heart disease both can respond to it. Three heat/ice treatments during the day, and I could limp around the house a bit. I doctored my ankle with comfrey ointment and castor oil covered by a wool sock and went to bed.

Wow! My ankle is still swollen, but I could almost walk normal this morning! Thank you God for showing mercy to me! It may feel better, but I have come to the conclusion that it is the time off my feet that is helpful. So today, I am doing the minimum on my feet once again. I have to see the chiropractor, I have to take my car into the auto body shop for a repairs estimate. I am sitting in the coffee shop next door to the chiropractor waiting for my turn. It’s a walk in clinic. When I get home, I will do my second heat/ice treatment for the day and probably drop off for a snooze in that comfy stair after. Work on some more cards, fix dinner, watch a show with my honey while I do my third treatment, take my Apis, then wrap the ankle for bed. I am hoping if I can do this for a few weeks, my ankle will begin to heal. If the weather hadn’t turned wintery, I would still have yard work to deal with, so the timing is good to be home off my feet.

I hope I have learned my lesson. If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to take care of others. I really don’t want to go around this mountain again. And I want to avoid needing surgery. I am asking God to fill me with his Holy Spirit to remind me of this daily. I don’t pretend to know the workings of God. The Bible quotes God as saying “My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts than your thoughts.” But I do know deep inside that he cares. About my eternal soul first and foremost, but also about the vessel it rides through this life in. I will continue to turn away from doing stupid things, I will continue to ask for his mercy, and thank him for each breath I breathe.

Struggling…

Today is Sabbath. The local U-Pick community is putting on a huge harvest festival, every weekend until the end of October. There is a corn maze, tractor train, kids events, live music, hot pumpkin donuts and apple cider, vendors, and lots of fresh produce available to purchase.

This is the kind of event I have always wanted to do with my kids and grands. My older grands are only with my son every M-Th (school days/nights) and every fourth/fifth weekend of the month. It makes doing fun things with them on weekends very difficult. This is a good weekend to go. They are with our son and his wife, the weather is good, we have no plans today to go to a small group. I made plans to meet them there for a few hours, and our good friends are coming too, since they consider our kids/grands as theirs also. Sounds like a great day. So what is my struggle?

Today is sabbath. Our sons family and our friends observe Sunday as their day of worship. They attend church, and then Sunday is getting ready for work the next day. I always feel bad asking them to give up their Sunday to try to do these types of things. We’ve bumped heads about it in the past. But now, I feel like I have chosen a family day, outside the home, buying from people who are working to make a living over spending the day with my creator. What I will be doing I feel goes against God’s instructions for Sabbath. I want my father to be pleased with my behavior, not grieved. I want to walk in the blessings of obedience, not the curses of walking in my own ways. I know there is mercy and grace, but I also know about reaping what I sow. In the past, there has been conversation about no one being willing to give up their day off, their sabbath. So, do I resign myself to not getting to do fun family things because no one will give in? Or do I resign myself to doing something uncomfortable to have a family day?

I guess it all comes down to where my priorities are. Family or Yah? It seems like such an easy decision, and yet, it isn’t. It seems I haven’t made God the priority I thought I had. May he show mercy to me as I struggle with my weakness.

Birthday letter

Wednesday was my birthday. I turned 56 years old. Our son and his family joined us and our close friends. My honey gave me two cards, one from him, one from the cats. He has always had a sense of humor. I opened the one from my “boys” and there was a typed letter inside. After reading the first paragraph and my eyes seeing the words “Dad said it was OK”, I began to panic. However, panic quickly gave way to belly laughing and laughing tears as I continued reading. I wanted to share it with you. Hopefully it will start your day out with a smile!

To the Best Cat Mom Ever!

Hey Mom! Guess what!!! We got you a present for your birthday!

We know that you will never find two kitties as wonderful and well behaved as we are, but we have been talking about you to a couple of our friends on FurBook and they all want to be adopted by you. Isn’t that great news?! We told them all that we have plenty of room and that our food just magically appears everyday, and that our poop magically disappears too!!

We know that you like to get some sleep sometimes, so we have put together a sign-up schedule for your lap and have built in two five minute bathroom breaks every day, and also three hours of interrupted sleep every night. Aren’t you excited?!

If you aren’t as excited about this as we are, then just stare at all the eyes on the front of this card for about an hour or so and that should make you feel much better about this. If you still aren’t as excited about our birthday present to you as we are, I just want you to know that this was all Waldo’s idea and that I had nothing to do with it.

Thanks Mom! We love you very much and hope you have the best birthday ever!

With love, Statler & Waldorf (above two hand drawn paw prints.

PS We already talked to Dad and he said yes.

PSS We slo may need a couple of extra cat toys. Just saying.

The tears streamed down my cheeks as I laughed my way through reading the letter aloud to everyone at the kitchen table. When the lighter died down, my honey apologized for not giving me a present. I reassured him that he had given me a present. You have to understand, he hates writing. This was one of the best gifts he could have given me. He spent time to create something. He had fun doing it. It blessed me and made me laugh. It was a huge win-win for us.

I hope you enjoyed the laughs as much as I did. And, if you have never owned a cat, and therefore didn’t understand some of the references (interrupted sleep, poop magically disappearing, etc), I have a few extra kitties I can send your way….

Living eulogies…

Eulogy: noun. A commendatory oration or writing, especially in honor of one deceased.

Serendipity. That’s the name of a movie my honey and I have watched a couple times. At one point in the movie, one friend (who writes obituaries for a living) wrote an obituary for his friend who was struggling with a decision. At the time, I thought that was an interesting idea.

After my mother passed away suddenly, and I helped my dad plan the memorial, I realized how sad it is that people often only say the way they feel about a person, at their funeral. The person who dies never gets to hear the beautiful affirmations of their life. It was then that I decided that I wanted to write eulogies for those I love while they are still living.

I have done so for my husband, my father, brother and sister. I need to take time and write them for my son and daughter also, then their spouses. But now I realize I need to add our closest friends to that list.

I would encourage you to think about doing the same. Let those you love, hear the loving words you would say at their funeral. The relationships we build today are what build the people of tomorrow.

Rough week…

It seems that things always seem to go wrong just before we celebrate God’s set apart special occasions. The fall feasts are upon us: The Day of Trumpets, a day to watch and wait for the return of Yahushua/Jesus. The Day of Atonement, a day to examine our hearts for sin, and thank Yahushua/Jesus for the work of forgiveness done by his death. And finally, The Feast of Tabernacles, a week to celebrate with other believers and look forward to spending eternity with him. These are joyous times, or supposed to be. Seems that this year, the enemy of my soul would like to steal my joy.

In the past two weeks so much has happened. Multiple people I know with Covid, one hospitalized. The Afghanistan withdraw and the suffering plastered all over the news. Very emotionally draining. My 18 year old van apparently had an alignment issue which damaged one of four tires. I had to drive to a neighboring city to find the same tires, so I could buy only two, instead of a whole new set. And, my battery went defective at the same time. Having to rearrange things based on the van not being available. Finding out that a ductless hear pump head had been leaking in our wall since installation a year ago. The drywall was cut into, wet insulation removed, wet floor planks removed in our main living space and six huge fans and one heavy duty heater running non stop for a week. It was deafening and hard to focus. Then, to really amp up the emotions and stress, one of my husbands best friends from college suddenly passed away while battling cancer two weeks before their daughter’s wedding.

We agonized for a day about whether to rearrange everything in life to try to rush out to where the funeral would be (a two day drive). We finally decided to ask if it would be ok to plan a trip out to see the wife and kids in a month, when she has to start adjusting to a new normal without her husband. So, we are getting that planned.

And so, the process of cleaning up begins. The drywall patch has a first coat of mud on it. The subfloor remains uncovered u til the flooring guy can fit the repair into his busy schedule. Spare flooring has been ordered. A new battery was installed and an appointment for an alignment made for next week. I also began work on transferring our friend’s Caring Bridge journal into book format for his family. He journaled extensively. His writing was humorous, eloquent and inspiring. I am not sure if his family actually got to read the journal while they were living through the trial.

Tomorrow I rev up the freeze dryer again, and plant a patch of flower garden on one side of a new pergola. Hopefully I can get the other side prepped and planted in time to give the new plants a chance to really take root before winter hits. We hope that maybe someday, our grandchildren might choose to get married on our property. And we would like to have it available to bless anyone in our fellowship of believers to use for special occasions.

Monday, we will watch the live stream of the funeral with another college Buddy and his wife, and our son and his family over brunch. We will toast our lost friend/brother and reminisce.

Spring…

We have a spring saying where I live. if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.

The other day while showing a family that just moved to the area the sights, we experienced rain, gropple, sleet, snow, and sunshine all in the period of three hours. I think I even heard a bit of thunder. Gropple is little balls of snow. They are white, and softer than hail.

Today is no different. I am stretched out in my honey’s spot on our Shabbat couch since he is sleeping in. From this perch in our bonus room, I have a beautiful view of green valley with mountains not too far away. One of those mountains is considered our bell weather for planting season to begin. The old timers say not to plant until all the snow is gone from that mountain. From my vantage this morning, I have seen sunshine bathe that peak, clouds cover the top, and it was just completely enveloped in a mini storm, which the nasty wind is quickly blowing north. I can see tree tops swaying rather violently in the wind this morning too. The wind scares me sometimes.

As I write these observations, my thoughts remember something a friend recently wrote on his Caring Bridge journal about the storms of life. I too see a correlation. I see storms becoming more frequent, more volatile, more destructive and unpredictable. I find myself hiding indoors more often to avoid the cold, the wind, the pelting. I see the same in my spiritual life also. Right now, I am feeling the turmoil of an inner storm. Sorrow, disappointments, unmet expectations, overwhelm. I find myself looking for someplace to hide. Sometimes I go thrift store shopping by myself. Sometimes I hermit. I definitely crave more sugar.

Recently, I forced myself out of my hermit cave to celebrate a holy day with the body of Yeshua/Christ. I had to tell myself, we are a body, every part is necessary. I need other people in my life and they need me. During the gathering I made time to sit with a friend who had been distant for several years. When I first met her, I could tell there was underlying anger in her life. Then she stopped hanging out with the body, only to re-emerge last year a changed woman. The anger was gone, and had been replaced with peace and contentment. We talked awhile, and she shared how Yahuwah/God had changed her heart. She had gotten some counseling about God and his desire for his children to walk in freedom, not bound by anger, unforgiveness and more. The counsel included very practical steps to getting to that place of freedom. I found my eyes welled up with tears, and my heart crying out for that kind of freedom. A couple days later I was having friend time with another gal, and I shared that I have been struggling, and that I just don’t feel alive right now. I know it probably has to do with some stinking thinking, but I need help identifying it. We spoke of the mutual friend’s experience, which had also touched her. We spoke of a recommended book, of the ministry that helped, things to be aware of. I don’t open up like that to people. It isn’t always safe. But, both friends proved safe, and spoke gently to my heart.

I am so thankful for safe friends. Who love me inspite of the leftover ugliness of the heart that has yet been replaced with what God wants there instead. I ordered the book, and look forward to spending some time prayerfully reading it and letting my souls be washed clean, again, and again, and again, until there is nothing ugly left, only the beauty of Yahuwah God.

If you are struggling today, if you are feeling dead inside, call out to God, and he will send his Yeshua, which means salvation, to you. Things ma tv not change in an instant, or they may. But, it will put you in the path to wholeness. May you have a beautiful day and may you feel alive!

Checkmate…

It started out like all the other days I went to pick up our grandkids from school. I made the quick, five minute drive to the school, found a place to park, and went to get the grandson. That’s where everything went sideways.

Once he pointed me out to his teacher, who smiled knowingly, we began to walk towards the car when I mentioned that I we would be coming back later to get his sister, who was going to be playing a chess game. That’s when I got suckered. He said, “Grammi, I was hoping to play her opponents younger brother in chess while she played. I said that would be fine, that I would pick him when I picked up his sister. Check. That’s when he said, well, I need an adult to supervise since it is after school…. checkmate. Game over. Grandson 1, Grammi 0.

How do you say no to that? I can’t. So… here I sit, a a table in the school lobby, while they play chess upstairs. Apparently, I wasn’t needed. I decided to catch up on some research.

I looked up how to cut choppy bangs, since I hate heavy, straight across the eyebrow bangs, which is what I ended up with after my last haircut.

Next, I researched homeopathic remedies for animals that have anxiety or fear of people. Our cats love us, and when they hear us come home, they come out, but the minute someone other than us comes through a door, they vanish to hide under a bed. We would like them to come out and be a part of the family. Argentum Nitricum seems to be the recommended remedy for animal anxiety. Since we are having our best friends over on Friday evening, and they would live to make friends with the cats, I will be slipping some Argentum into their drinking water Thursday night. Hopefully it works.

After that, a text to one of my daughter’s friends was necessary. she is the caregiver for her mother, who recently came home after a stint in the hospital for a genetic condition she suffers from. I had helped with some housecleaning that had been neglected too long while her mom was in the hospital. She had mentioned that they may need to hire a house cleaner and lawn mower, since she was having a hard time maintaining things, working full time and helping her mother. I asked my 83 year old father to research what resources she may have available for that type of thing and was able to send her some info today as well as let her know she hasn’t been forgotten.

I was also able to catch up on some Caring Bridge reading. We have a friend going through treatment for an aggressive form of lymphoma. To keep everyone informed of his progress at the same time, he posts updates on his Caring Bridge page. He is a prolific writer, posting something every day. And, he has a way with words. Sometimes posting humorous stories about his journey, sometimes inspiring stories, sometimes words of encouragement for others who may be going through tough times, and sometimes just praising God for being alive!

So, the unexpected time of sitting has become a productive and welcome distraction to my usual business. And now it is time to say goodbye! The games are done, both grands were victorious and it is time to head home while we wait for their mom and baby sister to come join us for dinner. Dad, our son, has to work late meeting with parents for conferences.

I hope you can look for the good in the unexpected events that seem to derail your plans for the day. Hope you have a great night!

The Five Love Languages –

The Five Love Languages – Wikipedia
— Read on en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages

Many years ago, I read this book, and it changed the way I related to people. I began to see how others received love, and I determined in my heart to love them in the way they could understand, not the way I like to be loved.

I saw that my husband and son were both “Quality Time and Physical Touch” people. Our daughter a “Gift Giver and Acts of Service” girl. My mom, a strong “Words of Affirmation”, while my dad was a strong “Acts of Service” guy. Me, I am “Acts of Service and Physical Touch”, although receiving a gift every now and then would be nice too…

Acts of service came pretty easy to me, as well as physical touch and gift giving. The words of affirmation was a challenge for me. In the last few years of my mother’s life (which I didn’t know would be her last at the time), I had to really focus on affirming her. “Mom, you sure do put a lot of love into making a good soup.” “You look really nice in that outfit today.” It was a challenge, but I tried to say something affirming each day (they lived with us for a few years).

That was fifteen years ago. My father lives with us now, and we have the same love language, which makes for an easy relationship with him. With my honey, the exhaustion of a high stress job reduces some of our marital physical touch, but I always try to give him a bear back scratch in the morning, and a big hug when we returns home at night, and then, I put away the phone, stop working and sit and look him in the eye when he wants to share his day with me. When I see my son, he gets a hug and eye to eye conversation. Our daughter gets many care packages from home filled with things she can’t get in Japan and lots of love. I am still trying to figure out our daughter in law and grandkids.

Monday they have a school holiday. I found a website called 5lovelanguages.com that has an online quiz to figure out your love language. I may have the kids do that with me and then talk about the concept that because people are different from one another, they give and receive love differently.

When I sit and watch a basketball or football game with my honey, and pay attention and get into it, that says a big I love you to him. When he was growing up, his family watched sports together. Super hard for me, since I see watching tv as a huge waste of time. So, I picked his two favorite teams, the Zags (Gonzaga Bulldogs) basketball and the Minnesota Vikings football to watch with him. I make a big deal out of game time with popcorn, getting cozy on the couch. I get to know the players so I can talk about the game, and I even know the game schedule before he tells me. I learned this because he was lamenting one day that none of the grandkids would just sit with him and watch a game. I asked a few questions and learned this about him.

I highly recommend this and the related books (one about kids love languages, and I think a third). Buy it, check it out of the library. If you want to be a good lover, read this book and then challenge yourself to step outside your box and love others differently. You will become a more balanced person that way. Share what you’ve learned with your loved ones so they can learn too. You can become an excellent lover!

Peee-ewww!

What do you get when you add a litter box being used by two kittens, a closed up room and summer heat? That’s right! A stinky bedroom!!!

I hate being able to smell cat. We have had multiple cats in the past and their litter boxes never smelled this bad. But we’ve also never had cats eating wet food either. I am looking forward to being able to open up the rest of the house to them when they are a little bigger and I can keep track of them better. I am also looking forward to when they don’t run from us all the time. Oh! And I look forward to their cat climbing thingy arriving so they stop climbing the lightweight fake tree in the corner of my bedroom. Seems they are both climbers. Pook seems to be especially skilled at it. And moving the litter box to the laundry room! I have so much to look forward to.

I hope you have a sweet smelling day with lots of little things to look forward to, not a pee-eww one!

Beautiful moments…

When your grown son reaches his arm over your shoulder during a visit and says, “Love you mom”.

When your grown daughter texts and says, “Can we call? Your grandson has something he wants to show you”.

The moment your husband stops you on a walk, puts his arm around your waist and points out the beautiful sunset.

Receiving a handwritten note in the mail. Even nicer when it is on a sweet, colorful notecard.

The first moment my head hits the cool pillow and my body knows it can finally relax.

The first lusciously creamy spoonful of raspberry mousse.

The varied sounds of the killdeer birds in our presently dirt and rock yard.

Visits from the neighbor’s affectionate Tom cats around sunset. Head butts, sharp claws kneading on your thigh when they are in the lap, when they come running to see you.

Seeing the straw wrapper on my dashboard that came whizzing by my shoulder the other day, compliments of my ten year old grandson, and remembering the laughter that ensued.

Enjoying a day of card making with our twelve year old granddaughter.

Hearing our four year old grandson tell me a story about the ‘Shamberries’ they grow.

When your daughter in law sits and chats with you, and really enjoys it.

Finding out there is another grandchild on the way into this world.

Coffee and a drive with a friend who has a day off of work, who is really more family.

The sweet, juiciness of a home grown strawberry.

Realizing God’s ever protective presence when a car pulls across a road in front of you and you miss them by inches. Or that your open pant leg was just over an active yellow jacket nest, and you were spared any bites.

Those rare talks with a distant sibling.

When something goes right in the building process, and a weight is lifted from your mind and figurative shoulders.

These are a few of the many things that I find beautiful. That bring me joy. That bring me to my knees in prayer and thankfulness to our Creator. Take a moment in the insanity of your day, close your eyes, and bring to remembrance those little things that bring you joy. Your beautiful moments.