What is my WHY?

Disclaimer: I am not sure why I wrote this, as it seems to be a rant pushing back at the culture of the day. My apologies in advance.

Seems that “Find your Why” is the big inspirational tag line these days. Find your why! Dream! Inspire others! Empower others! It’s all a bit emotionally overwhelming to me. Honestly, I just want to be.

I want to walk out my faith simply. Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with my God.

I want to spend my days keeping my house clean, cooking yummy, nutritious food for my family, spending Gwammi days with my grandkids to help keep their love tanks (and mine) full, keep my garden well manicured and producing so I can preserve foods for the winter. Dress up real nice for a date with my honey. Why isn’t that enough anymore?

Why do I have create something to drive me to be more, to have a career outside the home, to create residual income, to make a name for myself or feel more fulfilled? Why can’t I feel fulfilled living simply? To me finding a why, just adds stress to my mind, and makes me feel inadequate according to the world’s measure of success.

I guess I should mention that the finding your why exercises have been helpful to me. Not for inspiring me, or driving me to live my dream, but for helping me to see some old wounds that cause me to drive myself to do what I do for the wrong reasons. And for that I am thankful. I am working towards being free of those negative drivers in my life, and Yah willing, through prayer and counsel, I will begin to walk with new, positive drivers.

Others may think I am old fashioned, but all this busy-ness is overrated, at least in my book. Do I want to help others, of course. I will bring them a meal after surgery, give my tithe to those with unexpected medical bills, call someone just to say hi. But, I am not going to try to change the world, by creating a non profit, help everyone, make a difference in the world job for myself. I will change the world by reading a book to a child, taking a walk in nature with a grandchild, having coffee with a friend. By teaching by example how to love, be a good daughter, wife, mother, person. To be a good member of my community. If we all did this, would not the world be less hostile, and less in need of fixing? I want to keep the personal touch alive. Although Millinials and Generation Z is all about tech, and social media, I believe that in the not too distant future, there will be a cry from the masses for the human touch, the real thing. I hope we can preserve that skill in enough children/young adults, that they will be able to fill in the gap when that day arrives.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am going for a walk with my husband and hold hands with him.


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